Where things can get pretty igry ...Rick's Cafe Americain

The early shift was the crew at the Parrot, featuring old standbys Pauly, Helmut, Coach, Swish, Joel and Diane.  Matt, a junior associate from the firm Rick and I left also joined the game at Coach’s invitation.  Coach refused to threaten the kid with extra work if he check-raised or slow played the nuts.  And I thought he understood the power of position.

The poker wasn’t particularly interesting most of the night.  I was steaming early, managing to lose almost $50 without really getting involved in much action.  I can’t even guess where the money went (with the exception of an Omaha hand where I had the second best hand both ways).  The play wasn’t the important thing anyway.  Most of the fireworks came when two recurring themes from the game again reared their ugly head: poor poker etiquette (Swish) and semantics (Ferrari).

Issue one: semantics.  Conversations between me and Ferrari have a tendency to drift to disagreement.  Unfortunately the disagreement is rarely about substance.  We always end up arguing over the definition of terms and so it was last night.  During a hand of Omaha/8, with a board of A-A-K-x, Swish jokingly asked “Is Ace-King a good hand here?” I replied, “It’s the nuts.” Ferrari protested, claiming that pocket aces were the nuts.  I conceded that pocket aces would be a better hand, but impossible hole cards if someone was holding AK, ergo AK would be the nuts as well.  Ferrari said that since two players could have AK, and therefore a chop was possible, it was improper to call AK the nuts.  I disagreed, arguing that since the wheel is indisputably the nut low, and it is possible that more than one person can have the wheel, the fact that more than one person could have AK did not make it less ... nutty, for lack of a better word.  Ferrari responded that the wheel was always the best hand; aces full isn’t the best high hand, so a possible chop with AK makes the term inaccurate.

And then the shouting started.  It wasn’t verge-of-violence shouting; it wasn’t insulting-your-mother shouting.  Still, it was heated. I still believe that Ferrari is talking total nonsense, but I throw the question to the crowd.  (Sidenote: Had Ferrari said “If someone has A-A-K in their hand, they would be holding quads, and that would beat their own aces full, I’d have smiled and given him the argument on a technicality.  But since I thought of it, ignore the sidebar when evaluting the premise on the table: Is AK the nuts on that board?)

Issue two: Etiquette.  I like Swish, sincerely.  He is a very funny guy.  He is a genuinely nice person.  And, as a bonus, he is somehow both a calling station and a wild bluffer.  He has good nights, and the variance from his wild play means that he has had some extraordinary nights, but he usually loses a lot of money.  In almost all respects, he makes a great addition to any poker table.  Still, he does a lot of things that in any well-policed game wouldn’t be allowed.  First, he string bets. ("I call and raise $4.") Second, he fake bets. ("Raise. Just kidding. Call.") Third, he acts out of turn all the time.  He was sitting on my immediate left.  I gently reminded him at least a half-dozen times that he acted ahead of me.  I firmly tapped him on the shoulder when he did it again.  When it happened for the, roughly, twelfth time I finally just yelled “Swish, I’m right fucking here!”

Perhaps I overreacted.  Maybe its just me that has a stick up his ass about acting properly.  It wouldn’t be the first time.  I don’t mind when people make mistakes; I’ll point them out and calmly explain why they were wrong.  But when someone so consistently flouts the rules - whether intentionally or becuase he can’t be bothered to care or pay attention - it becomes a question of respect.  So I was more than a little upset with Swish.  Waiting your turn is essentially a kindergarten principle, and it steams my ass that the table considers me the petulant one for having the audacity to care.  The argument that the game is loose and casual doesn’t cut it with me.  Most of the simple courtesies of poker play are designed to enhance fairness, not just order.  Pretending that a game with pots that get over $100 shouldn’t require just a little bit of attention is bullshit.  So I guess I’m still a little upset.

As for my play, I came from behind mostly on the strength of two hands.  First, in Omaha/8, Diane and Matt, two players that should NEVER play Omaha/8 until they get past the notion that TPTK is a good hand (as Diane admits), called me to the river when I had trips on the flop.  The trips didn’t improve, but they held up.  There was no qualifying low, so I scooped a pot of over $40.  Second, on the last hand of the night, 7-stud/8, I started with 84/2 and by the river had 84/321.  I bet on fourth street and started capping the betting on fifth street as two high hands played back and forth at eachother.  I never did make my wheel, but my low held up and half of that pot was close to $55.

Hand of the night: After an insane amount of betting on the flop, the turn and the river, the pot was probably over $70.  The board read A-2-3-5-6.  With all of that calling, you had to assume that somebody had a 4.  Of course, since the people Ferrari was playing against were Matt and Diane (see above) this assumption was false.  Diane played a qualifying low that didn’t include a 4 and a pair of aces for high.  Matt didn’t have a four either and couldn’t even beat Diane’s aces.  Ferrari had the wheel, and assumed that he was going to chop low three ways and hope that nobody was holding 47 for the high.  He scooped the pot and I told him that while he could keep the cash, he wasn’t allowed to count the winnings on the tote board. It was just too unseemly.  The tragedy of it all is that we played Omaha at Diane’s request. Ouch.

I am told that the game broke up at 5:30AM, with Ferrari down to “only” +$250.  Pauly was playing tigher than usual and I think it hurt his game.  He may improve in the long run as a result, but I think he is experiencing growing pains.  Coach played his usual tight game and finished +14.  Helmut had his usual swings; he was near the felt early and then rallied hard enough that he was close to level when I left.  Joel left when I did short $30.  Diane lost a LOT of money.  Swish and Matt both appeared to be up.  I finished +$21 [UPDATE: I paid Pauly the $10 I owed him for entry into his NFL pix pool with a chip, so I actually finished up $31. - ed.] and headed uptown to A.M. II, but I leave it to Pauly to report the final numbers.  Don’t hold your breath, as he will probably sleep in until sundown. [You can exhale now.  Pauly’s recap is up. -ed.] Diane is still young, so she can get in late and still wake up early, so her recap is already live.

The buyin at A.M. II is $20, so this was essentially a freeroll for me.

When I arrived, Waddell was in the process of slowplaying himself out of the game.  He made a minimum post-flop bet with pocket jacks on a king high board and then moved in on the turn.  Unfortunately, his small flop bet priced in JCatz and his bottom pair, which became bottom two pair on the turn.  Two pair was good, and Waddell left, steaming.  Remaining at the game were G, Buster, Mullaney and Sheffield.  And Nixma.

After roughly four hours of play, at a .25/.50 NL game with a $20 buy in, Nixma had over $170!  I’ve never seen a table tilted so far in one direction at a ring game.  I ended up playing some of the best poker of my life, but I still ended up losing because of one hand that I knew I was playing poorly.

My good play was mostly from laydowns.  I limped in from the small blind (T9o) with only a few limpers ahead of me.  The flop was T-x-x and I bet the pot ($1.50).  Nixma called from the BB and the rest of the limpers bailed.  A K came on the turn.  I bet $4 to see where I was at and found out when Nixma raised me to $12.  I thought for a good long while, but I credited him for the king and mucked my hand.  He showed me KQo, which is a nice pickup in the BB, and I patted myself on the back.  I made a few other good laydowns throughout the night, but the one that got away was expensive.

Sheffield made the standard table raise of $1.50.  I had ... oh, dammit, I’ll say it ... the Hilton Sisters, so I reraised him to $4, JCatz called (he’s on a draw!!!) and then Sheffield went over the top all-in.  The last time this happened to me here, Waddell had kings. (So fucking fold already.) I knew it was going to happen again, but it is so ... hard ... to ... lay ... down ... Queens. CALL.  JCatz angrily mucked JTs (he really wanted to play his draw multiway) and ... Aces.  Fuck.  Paint on the turn gave me a ray of hope, but it was a king and I had to reload.  No shame in that, really. Sheff had already reloaded twice.  JCatz had probably reloaded four times before I arrived and busted out again when I was there.  But I can’t believe that I called when I knew - with metaphysical certitude - that he had me beat.  Someday I will be a good enough player to lay down pocket queens.  Someday.

My move of the night was about a half hour later.  The pot had folded to Mullaney on the button, who raised to $1.  Sheffield called.  Is position raise. I call - with 98s in the big blind.  The flop is 9-7-7.  Sheff checks, and I check top pair to Mullaney, who bets $2.  Sheffield also thinks position raise and calls.  I pump it up another $10, slightly (and inadvertently) overbetting the pot.  Mullaney thinks ... and thinks ... and folds, crediting me for the seven.  Sheff also folds and the check raise works.  I think I had the best hand, but I really wasn’t looking for a call - too much on the turn would scare me.  I figure this post is giving away more information than I want to, but I was very happy with my bet.

For the record, the A.M. game has a real variety of play, hysterical coffeehousing, a vigor for both the game itself and keeping the game friendly and consistent respect for and enforcement of the rules and mores of the game.  It matters, people.  It really matters.

Adventures in Hammerland

Nixma introduced the concept of the Hammer to the UCB guys, and then G found a website by a player named “celeryman” (that I can’t find anymore) dedicated to the glory of 72o. [UPDATE: Here is the link, courtesy of Nixma.] We are now essentially required to play it.  And raise with it.  I scooped the blinds by raising with the Hammer under the gun once myself.  It is a stupid hand to play, but it really is exhilarating to show people what they folded to. The Hammer play of the night, however, goes to Mullaney.

With 5 players still in the game, Mullaney raised from the cutoff to $1.50.  Everyone called. (How is that for respect?) I had JTs in the SB, so the value was more than there for me.  No regrets.  The flop was A-x-x, nothing in my suit.  We checked to the raiser, and Mullaney threw out $4.  Everyone folded and Mullaney’s face looked like Christmas morning as he showed the table the Hammer to great acclaim.

Net for the night +$18.75 in 6 hours of “work.” The weather was chilly, but as expected, no rain.

Man, I love this game.